Alere

I realize it’s not nice to make fun of people (and corporations are people!) but I’ve got nothing left to lose...back in February 2014 I applied for a design job at this company. I received an email from their "director of marketing," asking me if I have “experience building websites.” Well, gee, I state in my resume and cover letter that my experience includes digital design including websites, plus my portfolio has a few screenshots of some sites I designed. You’d think this person would have done their homework into my candidacy or, at the very least, know how to read, no? But I kindly responded in the affirmative. She replied with, “Do you have samples of your work I can review including any past website work or an online portfolio?”

Oh, for the love of dog...the link to my portfolio is on the top right of my resume AND in my cover letter. Sheesh. I should have known this was not going to end well. She finally invited me for an interview the following week (a one-hour drive from my home each way), and I met with her and another woman who didn’t really contribute anything during the meeting. Because this girl was incredibly young and painfully inexperienced, the "interview" consisted of me doing 90% of the talking. She really couldn't offer anything to the conversation. After maybe 10 minutes she said she’d like to have me come back and meet with their development team who were not available that week (so why did she bring me in that week and not when the development team was available?). I said that’s fine, just let me know when and I’ll be here. We stood up, and then the fire alarm went off.

We left the small conference room and I was shocked to see that this girl was heading back to her office (behind closed doors) without closing this meeting professionally with a “thank you for coming in” or “we’ll be in touch” or walking me to the elevator or even with shaking my hand. I shouted to her over the alarm and all the evacuating people “when can I expect to hear back from you,” she was clearly flustered to see me behind her and quickly said “next week,” and then I offered a hand shake. And I left.

Of course, I never heard from her again. Two months later the job reappeared on LinkedIn, only this time it required candidates be a programmer and a photographer in addition to a designer.