C-4 Analytics

My experience “interviewing” here was so bad it was beyond shocking.

I applied for a presentation designer job here in spring 2014. I had seen this job repeatedly appear in the job boards numerous times over the past few years. That alone should have been a red flag (why the high turnover?). But I still applied, and was invited to come in for an interview.

I arrived on time, exited the elevator to their floor, and was greeted by…a foosball table. Turning to the left towards the door, I was met by…a ping-pong table. Hoo-boy.

Sure enough, there was nothing but children running around like crazy in this place – seriously, I did not see one person over the age of 30. The HR rep (a twentysomething girl) came out and immediately led me to the owner's office. I can concur with what one Glassdoor reviewer said; he was not a nice man. He greeted me from behind his desk, and coldly asked me if I have a copy of my resume whilst looking down at his nails. I handed it to him, he scrutinized it for a second, then asked me if I have an online portfolio. My blood pressure spiked up a little here, because (1) my URL is right there on my resume, and (2) this is something he should have looked at before I arrived. He asked me how good I am at researching on the internet. You mean, “Googling?” Yeah, I’m pretty good at Googling. He began poking around my website and then asked if it has any PPT samples. I explained I can’t post those publicly as they consist of confidential material but I’ve got printouts right here in my printed portfolio which I began to pull out -- and he held up his hand and ordered me to stop right there, saying in a disgusted manner, “Don’t bother.” Whoa.

And then his cell phone rang – and, yes, he took the call. Oh, but he said “sorry about that” afterwards, so that just makes it all okay.

His next question aligns with the aforementioned reviewer’s comment and is where I should have walked out: “What’s your salary requirements?" Really? That is so inappropriate to ask at this stage in an interview, your HR rep should be the one asking this question (along with making sure you had my resume). We haven’t even talked about the damned job you’re trying to fill, you didn’t really ask me a single question about my design skills, and you haven’t shown me samples of your presentations/slides…whatever.

Next, he said he wanted me to meet with the kid who’s vacating the job. I was led to another office and met with the current designer, and his first question (turned out to be his only question) was, "So, what do you like to do for fun?” Oh, for the love of dog…what the hell is the relevance of this question? And, quite frankly, what business is it of yours what I do for fun? What does this have to do with the JOB I am here to learn about? But, I played along, making silly pointless chit-chat about “Game of Thrones”…he then wrapped it up (and I realize again I wasn’t shown or told anything about the work I’d be doing in this role) and went out to get the HR rep. I sat there for quite some time, when some kid barged in and seemed somewhat shocked at my presence; I deduced that this must be his office and we were “squatting” while he was at lunch. He gave a “deer/headlights” look and stepped back out.

Good Lordie, this place is dysfunctional, I said to myself. The HR girl arrived and led me to the conference room, where I met with yet another twentysomething girl who asked me if I can show her any of my work. “Did you look at my URL/portfolio?” “Duh, noooooo, sorry, I didn’t.” Again, another point where I really should’ve just walked out. But I pulled out my tablet, showed her all my stuff and she proceeded to ask what software packages did I use for every single piece. Each time I gave the same answer, Photoshop, Illustrator and Cinema 4D, and to that she repeatedly responded with “Oh, we don’t use Cinema 4D at all here.” Okay, so you’ve repeatedly clarified that your team’s skills are not up to par with mine. Good for you.

That ended and she left to fetch the HR girl. I sat there waiting for about ten minutes, and in a repeat of what happened in the last meeting, some kid barged in hoping to use the room, was shocked to see me there, exhibited the “deer/headlights” look and scampered out.

The HR girl finally appeared, and I finally got the chance to ask, “Can I SEE some of the presentations or slides you do, that you expect this person to create?” “No, sorry, I can’t show you anything.”

Well, that was one big waste of time.